


Lights Gone

by Anasten27



Series: Of Windy Days at the Ocean [11]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Both romantic and platonic, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Kisses, Oversleeping, also there's an extra character towards the end, but I'm keeping it as a sort of surprise, but I'm not the one about to give it to them yet, but like a lot - Freeform, phonecalls, refusing to eat, these kids need therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 17:45:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19067533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anasten27/pseuds/Anasten27
Summary: Lights found.





	Lights Gone

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ:  
> Since this is part of a series I really recommend reading "Don't wake me up, I am still dreaming" and "All good boys go to heaven" before this one for a better reading experience.
> 
> "How can I brighten your day? :D" can also be good for some context, but that one is less important.
> 
> Thanks again to my amazing friend Tali for beta reading this chapter!

"Kairi..." His voice echoed around her. She looked up at his bright eyes, framed by brown locks of hair, against an infinite light blue sky. He looked sad, but she wasn't sure why. They were together right now, in each other's arms, so what was the problem? "I'm sorry…"

"What for?" She asked confused. He hadn't done anything to hurt her that she could remember.

She caressed his cheek with her hand, trying to give him as much comfort as she could through that gesture. He closed his eyes and nuzzled his face in it, holding her closer.

"I'm going to have to leave soon." He looked up at her with apologetic eyes.

That was it? That wasn't really a problem at all. "That's okay, I know you always come back." She smiled.

"That's the thing, Kai,” he paused. “I'm not coming back for a long time." 

He… wasn't?

Her smile faltered. "What... What do you mean? How long will it be until you return?" He always came back to her, he had promised that. He couldn't be gone for too long, right?

He looked away from her, focusing on her necklace and carefully taking it between his fingers. "Every night I visit you… the morning after that you're… always sad. And I don't want you to be that way." His voice was a whisper in the air, calming, almost imperceptible, but there. "Being with me is not helping you move on. It's not helping you be happy. So I have to leave… until you're okay again."

"No, that's not true!" It was. "I'm happy being with you!" But when he leaves… "Please don't go, I promise I'll be okay. I'll be happy every morning that I got to see you at night." Yeah, right.

"No, Kairi…" He tried to pull back, to break their embrace so he could properly look at her, but she didn't let him, burying her face on his neck. Her hands around his torso held him firmly, refusing to let go of him.

"Please don't leave me..." Her voice broke. What would she do without him by her side? 

He couldn't really feel in the same way he would have if he still had his body, but he knew there were warm salty tears falling on his neck. He ran a hand through her hair, the other one gently rubbing her back. He would've sighed if he could.

"I just want you to be happy... And I know what we've been doing is not the way to that." He didn't want to leave her alone in such a state, but he knew the longer he waited the worse it would be for her. "I'm sorry I couldn't come back to you again…"

"I can't live my life without you." She sobbed quietly.

"But you have been doing just that! You've been living everyday without me by your side. You're the strongest person I know, Kairi." He rubbed his cheek against her hair, the only thing he could find himself doing as to not disturb her in her position. "No one can match the strength of your heart. You'll get through this, I know it."

"Sora, please..." She pulled away and looked up at him through tear filled eyes, pleading that he stayed, that he didn't let the dream end so soon.

He kissed her cheek, before his image flickered for a second. "I love you. Live and be happy, Kai... Even if it's not with me." He smiled brightly. "Trust me, you'll do great!"

She reached out to him, but everything faded away around her. Not even her own image remained, only dark emptiness. 

Her eyes opened to the lighter darkness of her room, which possessed a different heaviness to it. The words "I love you too" escaped her lips in a tired mumble, her voice still asleep inside her throat.

She curled up in on herself and cried.

 

Riku checked his messages again. Still no response. That was weird, she usually answered a couple minutes after she received a message. She took an hour in rare occasions, but a whole two days? And she wasn't answering calls either. What was going on? Was she sick?

He put his phone back in his pocket and adjusted the backpack on his shoulder. He should probably go check in on her, just to be sure she was okay. He turned on a different corner, deciding to go visit his best friend.

A small knot formed on his stomach. He couldn't remember seeing her act particularly weird the last time he saw her. Maybe something important came up? Or she had gone out with her father to the big city for a couple days? He had called their house phone and no one had picked up. Whatever the case it still didn't make sense to him that she wouldn't tell him about it.

He arrived at her front door with a small gray cloud of fear over his head. He knocked three times and waited. 

You know, maybe it was nothing. Maybe her phone was dead because she dropped it in water and that's why she couldn't call him. No, that wasn't it. House phone. She would've called, she always did when something was up.

No one came to the door. He debated on what to do next. He knocked again, took his phone out and dialed her father's number. The ringback tone started playing on his ears as he waited for the man to answer. He knocked once more, this time with a bit more energy and urgency behind it.

"Riku? What's going on?" The older man's voice answered on the other side of the line. "I'm in an important meeting right now."

"I'm sorry to bother you, sir, but is Kairi sick? She didn't go to school today or yesterday and she hasn't been picking up my calls." He shuffled on his feet and put a hand in his pocket. "She doesn't seem to be at home either. She's not answering the door."

There was silence for a moment. "She's not- she didn't go to school?" he asked. Oh no.

"No… I'm guessing she didn't tell you either." He looked at the front door again, silent at the other side, looking as if it lead to emptiness itself. "I'm sorry, sir, but I'm going into your house to see if she's still in there."

Some rustling was heard from the other end of the line. "Sure, okay. I'm on my way. I'll see you later."

"Okay. Goodbye, sir." He hung up and sighed. Facing the door with a small frown on his face and a tightness in his chest he summoned his keyblade.

The house looked empty. He couldn't hear any sounds aside from the ones coming from outside. The curtains were shut, nothing out of place in the kitchen (not even a dish in the sink), the table bare except for a vase with flowers. It looked as if no one had been here for a while.

"Kairi?" He called out walking over to her door. He took a hold of the doorknob. Locked. "Kairi, are you in here?"

"Go away." Her weak voice finally answered from inside the room.

"What's going on? Are you okay?" He tried to turn the doorknob again to no avail. "Kairi, open the door."

"I said go away!" She cried out.

He paused for a second, taken aback by her aggressiveness. He closed his hand in a fist. "I'm coming in!" Riku announced. He used his keyblade again and a small click was heard in the quiet house. Quickly opening the door he stepped inside. The room was dark and the air heavy; a small lump was hiding under the blankets on the bed. He walked over and kneeled down beside it, a frown on his face. "What happened?"

"You came in my room when I told you not to, that's what happened. Now get out!" Kairi exclaimed, her hoarse voice muffled by the blankets.

He sighed, stood up, opened the curtains and the window to let fresh air in, and sat down on the edge of her bed. She tried to kick him off, but her legs were too weak.

"Kairi, please, I'm worried about you. Why haven't you come to school?" He turned towards her, but she still wouldn't let him see her.

"I've been sleeping, now leave!" Her voice broke as she kept trying to push him off.

"You've been sleeping for two days?" His frown deepened. She hadn't even gotten up? That could explain how neat the house looked. There weren't any plates out of place either... "Have you eaten anything?" Kairi wasn't one for washing dishes right away, so if the sink was empty...

"No, I don't want to." She sighed and finally stopped kicking him. "Just go away and let me sleep."

"No, Kairi, that's not healthy. You can't just not eat for days." He tried to reach for the covers and take them off of her, but she hissed and held them tighter over her head. He sighed. "I'm going to make you something to eat, so I'll need you to come out from under there when I come back, understood?"

"Don't bother. I won't eat it," she mumbled.

He headed over to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he wondered what could be good for her. Maybe something light would do for now, like fruit or a sandwich. It wasn't very good to eat too much too fast after a long time of not having any food in your stomach.

Was Kairi really sick? He could get that sick people needed rest, but two days of doing nothing but sleeping? That couldn't be right. Not to mention she had stayed all that time there without eating anything. In any case, she needed help. He didn't care if she didn't want it. He took some things out of the fridge and closed the door.

 

Why wouldn't Riku just leave her alone? She needed to sleep. He always came back when she was asleep. But he wasn't coming back. She'd stay here in bed for as long as it was necessary until he did.

Her head hurt. In fact, her whole body hurt. She was tired of staying awake. Of sleeping, of crying. She was tired. So tired.

She heard some noise coming from the kitchen. She wasn't hungry. Her stomach disagreed in a low tired growl. She didn't want to eat.

Riku had come back in the room. She didn't want him here. He shouldn't be here. Go away. She closed her eyes.

"Come out to eat, Kairi." He said softly, sweetly even. Get out of here.

"No." She shook her head, though he couldn't really see it.

"Then I'm coming in." He said as the bed shook. She covered her face in her hands and made herself as tiny as possible. No no no. Get out! He was right beside her under the blankets. A plate with some fruit and half a sandwich was placed down right in between them. "Kairi," he whispered.

"No..." She sobbed and tried to bring her legs even closer to her chest. She knew she probably looked like a mess, (she certainly felt like one). Get out. Please, just go away.

"Kairi, look." He whispered again, putting a hand over hers and gently taking it away from her face, stoking it with his thumb. She looked away, embarrassed to have him see her in such a state. "I brought you some grapes, and a cheese and lettuce sandwich. Please eat some." He pushed the small plate towards her.

She looked down at it, sniffling. No. She didn't want it. She didn't deserve it. She was pathetic, hiding away in her bed, hoping against all hope that he'd come back. She pushed the plate away. Weak. Stupid.

"No, come on, don't be like that. Just one." He took a grape and held it up. "I promise they're good." He popped it in his mouth and ate it. "See?" He tried to smile, but his face quickly scrunched up and he sticked his tongue out. "Nope, they're bad. I still don't like grapes. But I bet you'll love them!" 

That almost got a smile out of her, but she was just so tired. 

"Just try one. I don't want you to get sick." He paused for a moment and she glanced up at him. "I don't think he would've wanted that either..."

Her eyes watered as she looked away. Of course he wouldn't. Stupid. Why was she being so stupid? He wasn't here. He left. He's gone. He's gone. He's-

"Gone..." Her voice broke. "He's not coming back..." She tried to clean up the tears that were falling to her mattress, but they kept forming and clouding her vision. "I've tried to get to him, but he won't come back." She sobbed.

He frowned, finally understanding the core of the issue. "Do you mean… in your dreams?"

She nodded and sniffled, still doing her best to stop her tears. "They- they weren't regular dreams. I know they were real. He was real."

"I know," Riku sighed.

She looked up at him, a glint of hope in her eyes. "You do?" Did he really, truly understand?

"Yes. He was only able to visit me once." He glanced down at the plate in between them. "I'm sorry he had to go..."

So, there was nothing to be done about it at all?

There was silence between them after that. The birds' singing came in through the window. The blanket still remained over them, keeping them away from the world outside. Something inside Kairi's chest hurt. Her head hurt. She glanced down at the plate and slowly reached a hand out to it, but she didn't take anything. She pushed the grapes, making them roll around on the porcelain surface. Her stomach was still empty, weakly pleading to be fed. She was very hungry again. She should probably eat, but...

Riku put his hand over hers, stopping her from playing around with the food. She didn't look at him, but she could feel his eyes on her. She was tired. Sleepy. She closed her eyes.

He took his hand off of hers and reached closer to her face, hesitating, before brushing a strand of her hair out of it and behind her ear, lingering there. She opened her eyes to look at him. There hadn't been greater sadness in them since the day she had come back.

"Just one grape," he whispered again. "That's all I ask."

Kairi bit her lip in a poor attempt to suppress her sobs, but still shook while tears fell down her cheeks. She cleaned them up quickly. So weak. So pathetic. Everything hurt.

He gently cupped her face and pleaded, almost desperately, in a whisper, "Kairi, listen to me. I know you miss him, but don't do this. Please, you have to stop. I can't lose you too."

She was being selfish, only thinking of her own pain. Not once did it cross her mind that her actions were not only hurting her, but her best friend too. She took a grape. Breaking down in tears again, she put it in her mouth. She didn't want it. She wanted to spit it out, but she kept chewing on it. She didn't have the strength to do it for herself, so she did it for them.

Riku picked up the plate and put it somewhere where it wouldn't get in their way. He brought her closer to him in a hug and she clung to him like a lifeline as she cried.

"I'm here." He said as he stroked her hair. "You're not alone in this. You have me and your dad so you'll get through this, okay?" He kissed the top of her head. "I'm here."

She didn't know how long they stayed there. She stopped crying at some point, her friend's heartbeat a steady pace that calmed her down for the time being, soothing the tired and confused thoughts in her mind. She ate the rest of the grapes without protest, but with not much enthusiasm either. She didn't notice when it happened, but the blankets had been off their heads for a while now too. She just felt tired.

"Please, don't ever do this again, it's not healthy for you. Who knows what would've happened if I hadn't come here?" Riku said.

She stayed quiet. 

"Promise me you won't do it again, that you'll call me when you feel it's too much to bear alone."

"Okay..." she mumbled softly, snuggling closer to him. "I promise..."

"Hey, don't you go falling asleep on me again. You've had enough of that already." He gently nudged her.

"Just five more minutes, please."

"Okay, fine, I'll give you the time I take to prepare an actual meal for you." He said as he moved to get off the bed, carefully taking her arms off of him. "And after that you're taking a shower."

"Do I smell that bad?"

"No, I just figured that if you haven't eaten for two days you've likely skipped showering as well." He picked up the plate with the sandwich that had been left untouched.

"You’re a terrible liar, I stink," she grumbled into her pillow.

"Okay, yeah, just a bit." He chuckled as he walked to the door.

"Hey," she called out to him. He stopped at her door frame, looking back at her. "Thank you..."

He smiled, nodded, and walked out of her room.

 

"I called your dad to let him know you're okay, but he was already on his way since I called him earlier so he'll be here soon." Riku told her, setting down a plate in front of her. The food was nothing fancy, just fried fish with rice, but it sure looked delicious.

She picked up a fork and started eating in small bites. She still didn't feel much like doing so, but she knew how important it was. Riku sat down in front of her with a plate of his own.

"Do we... Have any homework?" She asked.

"Not really, just some math exercises we couldn't finish in class."

They kept eating quietly for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry for making you worry..." She said as she cut her fish with her fork, keeping her eyes on her food.

"I think you should be more sorry about hurting yourself like that than about what I think." He glanced up at her. "I won't tell your dad, but if something like this happens again… we're probably going to need professional help."

She nodded in understanding. She wasn't okay yet, but she was sure she could get through this. She was strong, … wasn't she?

 

So... He was gone. She watched as the water took the bubbles in her hair away, down the drain, gone forever now too.

She should've expected it, to be honest. He had been gone for a long time now, the fact that she wouldn't see him in her dreams anymore didn't really change anything about their situation.

But it did change. It did hurt. He had stayed with her, somehow, for months. Even if is wasn't physically, he had been there at night and the mornings after, keeping her company.

There were no more tears left to cry for her, she was just tired. Her arms ached as she scratched her fingers against her scalp to get the shampoo to really work on her hair and clean it up. Everything hurt, really; her body hadn't moved much these past few days.

She wondered what she'd do right after she got out of the shower. It was pretty late into the day and she was supposed to go to bed in a few hours, but… she had definitely messed up her sleeping schedule.

Maybe she could watch some television, or write a bit, or make some charms or… dreamcatchers. She could work on them to keep herself busy through the night. She probably wouldn't be able to go to school the next day until she fixed her sleeping problem; she was most certainly going to stay awake way past her bedtime tonight.

She finished cleaning herself up. The warm water was nice and relaxing, but she couldn't stay standing there all day.

As she stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel on her hair and around her torso, she looked at the mist covered mirror. She slid her hand across the smooth surface, clearing up enough space to look at her face. She looked better than she expected. That was nice.

After actually dressing up properly and not in pajamas, she came out of the bathroom.

 

"You feeling better now?" Riku asked as she walked into the living room.

She shrugged. "A bit..."

They sat together on the couch, silence falling over them. Riku wished he knew how to act in such a delicate situation. Sure, he had gotten her to actually eat something and get out of bed, but what if he had been too late? What if he had dismissed her strange behavior and left her alone thinking she was just in bed with a strong cold? What if she had—? 

But she was still here and he had helped her; thinking on what ifs wasn't useful to anyone. If something like this happened again he would not hesitate to call for help. Even though he had the title of Master, he was no adult, he wasn't prepared to handle this.

"Would you... Like to watch a movie?" He finally asked, unable to think of another activity while they waited for her father.

"Okay." 

 

They had been halfway through a comedy movie, which wasn't really that funny in the end, when the front door opened. Kairi's father closed the door behind him before kneeling down in front of his daughter.

He hugged her and she didn't hesitate to do the same. He asked them what had happened, if she was okay or if she needed anything or if— 

Kairi reassured him that she was okay now, it had just been a fever so she hadn't called him thinking it would go away soon. She didn't want him to worry and knew how important his work was.

He sighed and kissed her forehead. Absolutely nothing was more important to him than her wellbeing. Nothing.

It wasn't long after that that Riku decided it was time for him to go home. He said goodbye and softly told her to take care of herself. She nodded.

Her father was staying at home until she was all better, then he'd have to leave again for the city and go back to work. She wished he could go sooner, but completely understood his concern for her health.

They finished watching the movie together.

 

It was done. She held it up to observe the trinket better in the orange light of her nightstand lamp. The edge a light blue, the inside web made of white wool, three small dark blue feathers, each dangling from a string. Her first finished dreamcatcher.

It was already dark outside, but she couldn't go to bed yet, though it was pretty tempting, especially since she was sitting on it. She picked up a new wire, gave it a round form, and started wrapping it in purple wool.

Her mind jumped from one thought to another, with not enough energy to focus on any of them. A song also softly played on repeat in some dark corner of it.

She paused for a second to check the time on her phone. 9:23, the night was barely beginning. She sighed and kept working.

 

She was almost done with the circle when her phone started ringing. Weird, who could be calling her at this hour?

Taking her gummiphone in her hands she put her soon-to-be dreamcatcher down. She hit the green button and pressed the device to her ear.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Kairi? It's- it's me, Ven.” Ventus? “I was just calling to, uh… to check up on you. You didn't answer my message yesterday like you usually do and so I thought, you know, maybe she's a little busy and will answer later. But then you didn't and neither did you do it today so I was worried something might have happened to you and I just… a-anyways, are you—are you okay?” he finally finished rambling.

Oh! That's right! She hadn't looked at her messages yet. He usually sent her a picture every two days, but she hadn't seen it this time. He was worried about her because of that? That's so sweet…

“Yeah, I'm—” She let out a quiet shaky laugh. “I'm doing okay. I've just had a… rough couple of days, but I'm doing better. I'm sorry for making you worry, I didn't check my phone at all.”

He sighed in relief. “That's good, I'm glad you're better. I'm sorry for calling so late, I just finished training and there's a time difference and… I should probably let you go to sleep now.”

“No, don't worry about it! I’m actually not allowed to sleep yet.”

“What? Why not?”

“I, um… overslept. Like, a lot.” She laid on her stomach, keeping her head up by resting it on her free hand, which was propped up by her elbow.

“Oh! Did you do something too tiring yesterday?”

“No… I—” A part of her wanted to tell him the truth, but he probably wouldn't understand. It was all so complicated and such a mess; why involve him in it too? Riku was already down here with her; there was no reason to burden Ven with this, right? “I was… sick, just a fever is all…”

“Well then you're much better now, I hope?” he asked.

“I'm still recovering, but yes, I'm better.” She paused for a second. “How was your day? How was training?”

“Me? You mean—? You—you want to know about my day?” He fumbled with his words, almost as if he were surprised.

She laughed. “Yes, I'd like to know about your day.”

“Well, I… worked on my forms, uh… practiced some advanced elemental magic, used some command styles against Terra, and meditated for a while with Aqua, though I'm still not very good at that…”

“That sounds nice.” She smiled. “What are command styles?”

“Those are very fun! They're…”

 

They had been talking for more than two hours now. She couldn't help but laugh at his silly stories and gasp at the stunts he had managed to pull off in the past. For a while she forgot all about her problems and just enjoyed the pleasant conversation they were sharing.

“And, I kid you not, like a hundred bees came flying after me! I just ran for my life, like there was no tomorrow! Believe me, the honey was amazing, but I never want to go near their hives again, the pain is not worth it,” he finished his story.

She tried to contain her laughter. It was well into the night, so she didn't want to disturb her father's sleep. “You can act so silly sometimes, I wonder how you've survived this far.”

“Hey, I can't use all my brain cells all the time, they need rest too, you know?”

“Yeah, it seems they take a lot of breaks!”

“Hey!” He protested, but she knew he was smiling. 

After that, there was some rustling in the background and a faint high pitched voice talking. Ven's own voice answered back and she could make out something along the lines of “no, get out, I'm busy”.

After some more noise and the sound of something falling she heard someone else on the other side of the line.

“Hi! Are you Kairi?” a squeaky voice asked her.

“Yes, that's me.” The voice was so adorable, she had to stop herself from squealing.

“It's so nice to finally hear from you! Your voice is very nice! You know, Ven always-” the rest of their sentence was cut off and muffled.

“Hey, stop it I said! You can't just take my phone!” Ven said, closer to the speaker again. “Sorry, about that, he doesn't know about personal property and boundaries.”

“Who was that?”

“Chirithy, my dream eater,” he sighed. “A little troublemaker.”

“How come I've never met him?” she smiled and tilted her head in curiosity, forgetting that he couldn't really see her right now.

“He's hard to keep under control sometimes, but you'll meet him one of these days, I'm sure.”

“I hope so! He sounds adorable!”

“That's his secret weapon, he fools you into trusting him with his cuteness,” he mock whispered.

They both shared a chuckle at that.

“Uh… Anyways,” he started. “I'm really sorry, but as much as I'd love to stay up talking with you, I have to wake up early. It's late and I'll be dead tomorrow if I don't hit the pillows soon.”

“Of course, I'd hate to keep you up all night.” She didn't want him to go away yet, but she knew he couldn't keep her company forever. “Thanks for calling me, it's been really nice talking with you.”

“Yeah, calls are a lot more fun than texts for sure.”

She nodded. “Yes, they are…”

There was a small silence. Neither seemed to be able, or really wanted to, bring the conversation to an end.

“I… hope you get to rest soon, Kairi.”

“Thank you. I wish you sleep well tonight too, Ven.”

“Thanks. Well… goodbye.”

“Bye.”

She kept her phone pressed to her ear until she heard the beeping sound that came with the end of the call. She finally put it down and looked towards her window. Some stars happily twinkled in greeting, silently telling her they'd be the ones to keep her company.

She smiled, picked up her unfinished dreamcatcher, and kept working.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> If you'd like, let me know your thoughts in a comment! I'd love to hear from all of you! :^)


End file.
